Our Birth Story: On this day seven months ago...

Photograph by Laura Bernal

It was a warm and balmy Saturday night in September. It still felt like summer here in Miami and I had been wishing so hard for the day to come. I really wanted to meet this baby and I was beyond uncomfortable in the last days of the pregnancy. I would get up in the middle of the night to pee two or three times a night and each time I felt like a rusty bag of bones that wasn’t so sure she’d make it to the bathroom.

I had been feeling what I thought were mild contractions throughout the day but I wasn’t sure and I had heard that these could go on for a few days before the actual labor. So I was excited that this could be the day but I tried not to dwell on it.  Art Walk was happening in the Design District across from us so we decided to take Lola for a walk at around 7 o’clock. At this point, I had been looking up on line all the different ways to encourage labor so we were trying just about anything. Walking was one tip, so we did this a lot! Among other things ;) As we walked over to the district, we couldn’t help but feel a little giddy at the thought of it actually being the day. We headed straight for my favorite food truck and I ordered three fish tacos. Yum! But what was I thinking? Not that I would be in real labor just a few hours away!

When we got back to the apartment, my contractions started getting stronger and more frequent so we started writing them down to keep track. When they were about 15 minutes apart, we called the midwife. She confirmed we were in the early stages of labor and told me to try and rest and to call back when they became more consistent. The labor pains were getting stronger and my lower back and my hips felt warm and sore much like menstrual cramps but waaay stronger.  It’s amazing to think about the mechanics of the human body and it was calming for me to visualize my physical discomfort as nature’s way of preparing me to physically endure the most amazing experience of my life.  I had my bag packed and ready to go weeks ahead of time so I decided to take a nice warm shower. The water felt really good, especially on my lower back.  

When I got out, I continued pacing which helped and the contractions got closer together and strong enough to the point where I could no longer talk through them. My husband was great throughout all of this, diligently timing and writing down each contraction and helping me pace around the house, softly stroking my back.  We called the birth center back and the attending midwife said I should try to get some sleep if possible since I might have a long night ahead of me. I doubted I would be able to sleep, not just because of the discomfort of each contraction but because I was so excited our baby girl was really on her way! Sure enough, lying down was the worst thing I could have done.  I felt the contractions ten times stronger in that position and I was thankful I would not be bound to a bed once I checked in at the birthing center. By around 11:30 or so, we were on our way to the birth center. Once we arrived, the midwife checked me and told us I was only 2 and a half centimeters. I was a little disappointed. Especially when she suggested we go back home if I thought I would be more comfortable at home until I was further along. There was no way I was enduring another car ride, every bump on the road was torturous, so we stayed and I mentally prepared myself for a long night ahead of me.

As we settled into the room, my husband decided to try and get some sleep and even perused through the selection of movies thinking that I probably wouldn’t need him for at least a few hours.  The assisting midwife was great in talking me through the contractions, gently suggesting different ways of dealing with the pain. NOTHING really helped except walking around and a very gentle massage on my back as I bent over holding her shoulders and swaying from side to side.  At around 1 a.m. she asked if I wanted to use the whirl pool. I hadn’t planned on a water birth and wasn’t sure this was the route I wanted to take but I remembered how good the warm water felt hours earlier when I had showered at home so I agreed to give it a try. I looked in my bag and couldn’t find my bathing suit. Being a very modest person, I was extremely embarrassed and told the midwife. She gave me this look of “are you kidding” and said “you don’t really need it but we can find one for you if you really feel uncomfortable”. At this point, I lost all modesty and figured wearing my birthday suit was more than appropriate for the occasion.  Besides, we had decided the birth experience was something we wanted to keep for ourselves as a couple so we weren’t planning on having any family come in until after the baby was born.  When I submerged into the warm water, I immediately felt so much better. My husband came over to put on the playlist he had prepared for me. It was the most amazing playlist EVER. The music really helped to calm me and distract me in between contractions which were coming one after the other.  The attending midwife came in to check on me and to everyone’s surprise, I was about 7 cm. I was progressing incredibly fast and she explained that was why I was getting very little time between contractions and why they were so intense. They kept reminding me relax, keep my eyes open and focused and to breathe deep strong breaths.

After a while, I was starting to feel very weak. I stayed well hydrated with ice chips and I also drank refreshing coconut water in between contractions. They placed cool damp towels on my face.  My husband stayed with me and was silent but encouraging with his gaze and gentle strokes to my back. I was warned ahead of time that I might feel a strong urge to use the bathroom but that it would be the baby’s pressure and usually a sign that it is time to start pushing. Even though I knew this, I still really wanted to get out of the tub to use the toilet but the baby was very close. At around 3:45 the midwife came in to check me and I was ready to start pushing. I was so tired. I really didn't know where I would find the strength to push. I just kept asking God to help me through it and asking Him for strength.  I thought about all the women before me who had crossed this rite of passage. I thought about my mother and my grandmother. I felt closer to them and an incredible connection to womanhood.  My husband was hesitant to join me in the tub as he had planned on not getting in with me. Originally,  I was fine with this, especially since I didn't really think I would be laboring in the tub. At that moment though, I wanted him as close to me as possible. The midwife instructed him to get in and sit on the ledge behind me so I could use his legs for support. (I have to say, he was a good sport.) They positioned me to push. I felt an incredible sense of calm as they reminded me to keep my eyes open and try not to grunt or yell as this would waste precious energy. As I gave my first few pushes, I felt a surge of energy come through me like electricity. As I felt the pressure build up more and more, I started to grow exhausted and I have to confess that it crossed my mind to skip the next push and give up for just a little while,just to catch my breath. I gave a few half hearted pushes but the midwives were so encouraging and they got me through this moment. I continued to push for about 30-40 minutes when all of a sudden I felt like I wasn’t going to be able to do it. For a few seconds I genuinely felt like I couldn’t push one more time. I told them that I couldn’t anymore. The midwife looked me in the eyes and said “Yes, you can! You ARE doing it.” She told me I had two or three pushes left, that she could see the baby’s head already. I mustered up all my strength and let out the most primal, throaty, roaring sound I didn’t even know could come out of me and pushed with all my might. The baby’s head came out and I felt reinvigorated by the fiery rush that came over me when that happened. I knew it was almost over. I let out a few more of those roars as I clenched the back of my husbands’ knees until the rest of her slipped out.  The second she did, I felt an amazing sense relief and ecstatic joy as I looked up to my husbands’ face. He had this beautifully goofy ear to ear smile on his rosy face and I could see the tears welling up in his eyes.  When they gently scooped her out of the water, they immediately rested her on my bosom. I was instantly deeply, madly in love. She didn’t cry right away and she was so tiny and fuzzy resting on me as my husband cut the umbilical cord. I was in utter disbelief of the beauty of the birthing experience as I held her in my arms.

I was placed on the bed where I delivered the placenta and was stitched up. I had some heavy bleeding so I was given a shot of pitocin. Soon after, she was brought to me so I could breastfeed.  It’s amazing how they just know what to do!

Our families came in to meet her and of course were instantly love struck. I promptly devoured a full breakfast of pancakes, eggs, bacon and toast with a nice warm coffee.  I was famished! A few hours later, when my bleeding slowed, we were released out into world and I was in my bed snuggling with our new baby by noon. She showed up right on time, on her due date, September 12, 2011 weighing 7lbs. 12 oz. to the sound of Iron & Wine's cover of "Such Great Heights". The most beautiful day of my life.